Whatever you think of the “big society” idea, this has surely been a good example of it. A few years ago, LGBT adopters and foster carers came together in order share support for their families, and this resulted in the “New Family Social” charity. But we knew that the need didn’t stop there, and that a critical number of children in the UK still need new families. And so, on our community message board, the idea of a focus week to encourage more prospective parents to come forward was hatched, and dozens of volunteers all over the UK set to work to make the campaign a reality.

Perhaps the most encouraging thing about this week has been the number of adoption and fostering agencies showing their unbridled support for the campaign, all over the UK. New Family Social suggested and coordinated the week but 18 agencies agreed to host events, providing venues, staff and refreshments. That was the original plan; as news of the week spread more and more agencies arranged their own events, to the point that we could not keep up with them all. In excess of 30 events finally took place, from Truro to Edinburgh.

As a result of the week, many new people now have the advice and encouragement they need to start their fostering and adoption journeys. Over 60 people attended the event I went to; the venue was packed and many had to stand. All would have gone home with a much clearer idea of the process, and the experiences of other LGBT people who have “been there and done it”.

However, I am sure the benefit of this week will go far beyond those potential new parents who came to events this year. The amount of media coverage took us by surprise, with countless local TV and radio stations featuring the campaign. MPs, local councillors, social work professionals and celebrities all spoke positively of the value of LGBT adopters and foster carers, and the need for more to come forward. Most importantly, our families were shown going about their everyday lives with their children. This is so important, both to change the hearts and minds of those who might still think that a gay family is somehow “wrong”, and also to help LGBT people visualise what their lives could be like as parents.

How many will have seen this coverage and thought, perhaps for the very first time, that becoming a parent might one day be for them? How many of these might still be in their teens, and as a result might plan for a family as they go though life? When I was dating in my early 20s (a few years ago), having children in the future never entered my mind. I love the thought that it’s a choice that could be taken for granted by young LGBT people in the future. Sadly, I don’t think the number of children needing to be adopted or fostered is likely to reduce any time soon. Isn’t it an amazing possibility that so many more people in future could make a positive choice to offer a new family?

Andy

ps. look out for the latest media coverage and feedback from the week here and if you haven’t already done so, you could sign up to our email newsletter for notification of future events by visiting our homepage.

Ealing – Our event was a great success last night. This was the second event LGBT event we have held at Ealing. The evening was well attended and the feedback very positive. Some of the comments were “Really engaging and informative. Good fun to meet others in the same position”, “It’s very encouraging to see a Local Authority actively encouraging LGBT adopters. Keep up the good work”,”Everyone was friendly and came to talk to us informally, which was really good for asking questions”.

Reading - “What came through was no matter what the age of child or children you hope to foster or adopt, it is one of the most rewarding experiences.  The adopter encouraged all those present to seriously consider doing it and spreading the work across the LGBT community.Those attending seemed genuinely encouraged enthused by the event and by the speaker’s personal experiences and we hope that as many people as possible will go on to adopt with PACT and other local agencies. It certainly felt like the week was off to a very positive start.”

One of Mondays events – “It was great to be able to ask questions about the real side of the adoption process. It was quite emotional listening to everyone’s stories and reassuring to hear that they had shared some of the anxieties that we may have at this stage of the process. All in all it was a very useful event and we both chatted about it all the way home and are quite certain that we are going to take the next step.” From the blog Gay Adoption – Our Diary 

Motion – That the Parliament notes that 20 to 26 February 2012 sees the first-ever lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Fostering and Adoption Week; congratulates the LGBT network, New Family Social, on promoting adoption and fostering to LGBT people; notes that this is at a time when adoption figures across the UK are at a 10-year low; understands that, according to a recent survey, 72% of social workers said that they believed that LGBT adopters showed strength in their energy and enthusiasm to adopt; further understands that a new study suggests that LGBT people have the right mix of skills and expertise to raise children who have been in care and give them a new start in life, and encourages LGBT people with an interest in adoption or fostering to attend events being held in Edinburgh and across the UK.

CO DURHAM
Thursday 23^rd February 2012. 11am to 7pm. Venue: Barnardo’s. Fostering & Adoption North East, 1 Lumley Court, Drum Industrial Estate, Chester-le-Steer, Co Durham, DH2 1AN (within easy reach of the A1 and with ample parking). Barnardo’s Fostering and Adoption North East have been working with LGBT foster carers and adoptive parents for over 20 years, come along to our drop-in session to find out more. For enquiries or to let us know you are coming, please call 0191 492 9000 or email carol.norcott@barnardos.org.uk

DURHAM
Thursday 23 February. 5pm – 7pm. Venue: Adoption Resource Centre, Langley Moor, Durham, DH7 8ET. We are planning to hold an event in Durham for LGBT Fostering and Adoption week on Fostering. Anyone who is interested in attending should contact the fostering and adoption service on 0191 370 6149 or email fostering@durham.gov.uk

EASTBOURNE
Saturday 25th Feb. 10am – 2pm. Credo Care fostering open days. Venue: Hydro Hotel, Mount Road, Eastbourne, East Sussex, BN20 7HZ. To register, and for more information, see www.credocare.co.uk/open-days.

EDINBURGH
Drop into our office at 161 Constitution Street, Leith, Edinburgh, EH6 7AD any morning 20th-24th Feb for a coffee and informal chat about adoption, or phone 0131 553 5060 and we’ll send an information pack.

FELBRIDGE
Saturday 10th March. 10am – 2pm. Credo Care fostering open days. Venue: Felbridge Hotel, London Road, Felbridge, West Sussex, RH19 2BH. To register, and for more information, see www.credocare.co.uk/open-days.

FLINTSHIRE
Mold, Thursday 23rd Feb, Time: 7-9pm, Venue: Plas Hafod Hotel. Visit anytime to pick up information or chat to foster carers. The focus of the event will be fostering, although information on adoption will be available. For enquiries, please call Flintshire County Council on 01352 702190 or visit www.flintshire.gov.uk/foster

LEICESTER
This year Leicester’s Fostering and Adoption Centre at 11 Friar Lane is encouraging lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people to find out more about becoming foster families or adopters. You can foster or adopt for Leicester if you live anywhere in the city, county, Rutland or in counties bordering Leicestershire. If you are in town, just pop into the centre between 9am and 4pm Monday to Friday – no appointment needed. Or ring 0116 299 5809. Or you can visit their website and request more information online at www.leicester.gov.uk/fostering

MANCHESTER
Thursday 1st March. 12.30 – 7pm. Venue: Premier Inn Trafford Centre West, Trafford Quays, Trafford Centre, Manchester, M17 8PG. Families that Last is the adoption agency part of After Adoption. Come along to our Exploring Adoption event on Thursday 1st March for a chat with one of our social workers to find out more about adoption and the children that are waiting. These events are a relaxed and informal day so there’s no need to make an appointment and you can ask any questions that you may have.

NORTHUMBERLAND
The Adoption and Fostering teams information sessions will be announced in March, however in the meantime, please give us a ring for an informal chat on 01670 534450. Or visit our webpages www.northumberland.gov.uk/familyplacement for links to more information on adoption or fostering in and around Northumberland.

STOURBRIDGE
Friday 24th February. 9.30am start. Adoption in the Black Country – Information Morning. Venue: Stourbridge Children & Families Centre, Forge Road, Stourbridge, DY8 1XF. For more infor see www.adoptionblackcountry.co.uk or call 0800 073 0597

STOCKTON
Stockton Borough Council is holding a whole host of events to tell people about the fostering and adoption process. The first event is being held at Yarm Library, Stockton, TS15 9BH on Friday 1 March from 12pm – 4pm. For further details about our other information sessions please visit www.stockton.gov.uk/fosteringor ring 01642 526218 for an informal chat.

A message from Jeanette Winterson in support of LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week 2012

Jeanette Winterson OBE has witten a wide range of works since her first novel, “Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit”.  She was adopted at an early age in Acrington, Lancashire, and writes vividly about her early experiences in her latest novel, “Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal”. 

“Adopted children need security and love. We all know that. But they need something else too that is often forgotten: They need a way of imagining themselves. Adopted kids often feel that something is missing… And they internalise that story into a lack in themselves. Adoption drops you into your own story after it has started.. Like a novel with the first few pages missing or arriving curtain up. But this loss can be entry as well as an exit. It can be an opening instead of a void. Something is missing, yes, but instead of loss and lack this can be a space… A space for the imagination. A place of self invention. Not escapist fantasy but a realisation that to be different doesn’t only mean to be difficult. LGBT people know all about being different. All the focus of legislation has been about what kind of home we can offer not about what kind of healing we can offer… Because we know what it feels like to be wounded. To feel confused. To feel loss and lack. LGBT people are the wounded healers who can help the dispossessed in society. Especially kids.”

Why did you want to foster for Leeds City Council?

“Stuart’s brother (18) stayed with us for a while so we got used to another person in the house. When he left the house felt empty and we really started to discuss fostering. We felt adoption wasn’t right for us, we wanted to help a variety of children and give them a sense of home even if it was for a brief period of time. We are now settled personally and are ready to give something back, we have been lucky in life and want to share this with foster children. Fostering feels like the next stage of our lives together, we have a lot to offer so why not”.

What was the specific thing that made you apply?

“We had friends who started talking about adoption one evening, this seemed to give us a final push and think we have talked about this and know it is something we want to do, why haven’t we applied yet”.

How did you find the home visit?

“It felt a bit intense and somewhat like a job interview. They actually tried to put us off to a degree by telling us how difficult fostering can be. With hindsight I’m really glad they did this as for us it made us even more determined and can see that this would have put off people who were not really serious about the commitment. We would have liked to have attended a drop in session and I’m happy to hear the council now provide these”.

Do you believe there are obstacles to same sex couples fostering?

“We found Leeds City Council very approachable and there were no obstacles. Our Assessing Fostering Officer Naz has been very good and always very honest with us. We know that some children and young people or their families might not want/want their children to live with us because we are a same sex couple but we cant change that and it hasn’t put us off. Leeds City Council have assured us they want more same sex couples to come forward and foster and have children ready to place with us”.

If you live in or near Leeds and want to find out more information regarding fostering please visit www.leeds.gov.uk/fostering or call 0113 24 77 44 3

Why did you apply to adopt a child in Leeds?

We already had one son who was 9 years old, but were not able to have any more birth children. We felt as experienced parents we were in a position to consider adopting a child and give them an opportunity of family life. As we live in Leeds, we decided to apply to Leeds City Council, we did not contact any other adoption agencies.

The adoption team from Leeds.

How did you find the adoption application process?

Initially we attended an Adoption Information Meeting at the Civic Hall and we found this very informative. We were the only same sex couple attending, but this was not a problem for us. Someone then came to see us at home to talk about adoption in more detail. This again was very helpful and although the fact that we are a same sex couple was discussed, it was not seen as a barrier or problem with our application.

When our application was accepted we attended a preparation course with other prospective adoptive parents. There was one other same sex couple and we did not feel that we treated differently to anyone else, then or during the assessment process. As part of the assessment we talked about how we would help a child cope with the fact that he had two mothers, rather than a mum & dad and answer any questions that he may get from other children at school. However this has not yet been an issue for him, but if it is we feel that we will be able to help him manage this situation.

Do you think there are obstacles to same sex couples adopting?

Generally we would say no, however once we were approved as adoptive parents and going through the matching process we did feel sometimes that social workers perhaps would have preferred to place children with heterosexual couples and we were seen as second best. However we did not wait long for a child to be placed with us and David’s social worker was very positive about us adopting him. We have found that schools, medical professionals etc have been very supportive and accepting of our personal circumstances.

If you live in or near Leeds and want to find out more information regarding fostering please visit www.leeds.gov.uk/adoption or call 0113 247 4747